"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner
"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there." - George Burns
"If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something." - Fran Lebowitz
"Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand." - Unknown
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - David Sedaris
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." - Will Ferrell
"Say my name!" - Walter White (Bryan Cranston)
"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely."
"Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?"
"Friends are forever. Until they get in a relationship."
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