Why is the game called "golf"? Because all the other 4-letter words were already taken.
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well.
What are the four worst words you could hear during a game of golf? It's still your turn!
What's the problem with my golf game? You're standing too close to the ball ... after you've hit it.
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." - Mark Twain
Why do golfers always carry two pairs of trousers with them? Just in case they had a hole in one.
A good golf partner is one who's always a little bit worse than you are.
The higher a golfer's handicap, the more likely he is to try to tell you what you're doing wrong.
You know it's too wet to play golf when your cart capsizes.
What's the easiest shot in golf? Your fourth putt.
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