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About + Lyrics

This song was born from a combination of things. I remember listening to one of my favorite singer/songwriter’s from the 60’s, Melanie. She writes these awesomely playful, honest tunes with the catchiest melodies. There’s this one in particular, People in the Front Row, with the most beautiful progression. I remember really liking that progression, so I started messing around on my uke trying to find it. When I found something similar I created a strumming pattern around it. It came pretty naturally and just sort of locked in. I didn’t think too much about it.

The melody was a bit different. I was listening to a ton of Sheryl Crow at the time, which introduced me to all these weird intervals that I never normally use. That’s where that note is from “decideeeeeee” comes in. It sort of just pops out of nowhere and makes you feel like you’re in a different era. 

Lyrically and conceptually, I was in an off place when I wrote this song. I had just graduated college, and felt very conflicted. I knew that I wanted to pursue songwriting/ my artistry, but my family was not onboard. I felt very torn. It was that pinnacle moment where you realize you are an adult and that your decisions actually hold some weight. This feeling was very scary for me, but ultimately became incredibly empowering. One of my favorite authors Cheryl Strayed says it best:

Nobody's going to do your life for you. You have to do it yourself, whether you're rich or poor, out of money or raking it in, the beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. And you have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. No matter what unjust, sad, sucky things befall you. Self-pity is a dead-end road. You make the choice to drive down it. It's up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive out.

So I was pissed off. Confused. Sad. Excited. Empowered. Entering adulthood. Entering womanhood. Talking to my therapist. Listening to feminist writers, feminist singer/songwriters. Discovering parts of myself that I didn’t even knew I had. That’s how this song was born :)


Lyrics read:

I wanna sail through the Mississippi, take a little dip in the sea of possibilities

I wanna go where nobodies gone, do it on my own and find peace and serenity

Cuz ive been blind and terrified of being alive and dying and all

but I survive on this little peace of mind…


I decide 

where I’m going and what I wanna be

it’s alright

to not know yet, I’m still discovering


twist up the dials to my heart

I think I’m in the mood to feel something today

there’s no blueprint to a life

just a bunch of rules you make up along the way


Cuz ive been blind and terrified of being alive and dying and all

but I survive on this little peace of mind…


I decide 

where I’m going and what I wanna be

it’s alright

to not know yet, I’m still discovering


I’m done closing off the doors that set me free

closing off the doors to liberty

closing off the doors that’ll let me get happy


I’m done closing off the doors that set me free

closing off the doors to liberty

closing off the doors that’ll let me get happy


cuz

I decide 

where I’m going and what I wanna be

it’s alright

to not know yet, I’m still discovering

El Cid gig, summer 2016

El Cid gig, summer 2016

Check out the link for my tumblr below so you can find more footage of me performing as well as other art that I love!

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